Friday, July 23, 2010

True love is Sacrifice.

Love is thinking about others before think about yourself. Love is selfless not selfish. Love is g-d and g-d is love. Love is when you lay down your life for another. Love is true. I'll put you in front of me so everybody can see my love this is my love. I know that I'll be alright as long as you are my guide my love. This is my love. Love is patient love is kind. It does not envy it does not boast. It isn't proud. Love is not rude. It isn't self seeking. It is not easily angered. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, it always perseveres. Love never fails. Love is everlasting, it's eternal. It goes on and on it goes beyond time. Love is the only thing that lasts when you die. 



I'm no longer fearful of being emotional, because I believe that feeling for others is an important and beautiful quality to possess. I know deep down that I can not save the world and that I can only do so much to understand and be there for others, but I enjoy knowing that I can do something. Something doesn't have to be life changing it can just be the shoulder for someone to cry on. If we all had sympathy and understanding for others in the world it would be such an easier existence. I'm sure we can all agree that life at times can be a challenge and we all have our moments. We are human and we were not made to be completely perfect. We are flawed, but that does not mean that we can not work at ourselves to eventually be satisfied with the person that we become. It breaks my heart to see others suffering and I realize how little help I have been to the world lately. I know deep down what I want out of life and that is partly why I enjoy writing and why I write on what I do. I want to eradicate a lot of issues that I believe are important to confront despite how difficult they may be. 

I know many women are not going to agree with the way I see things, but it sickens me how hypersexualized women are in today's society. I was watching television with my mother last night and saw Katy Perry's new album cover which nearly made me choke on my drink. I'm not a huge fan of her, but I liked how she was somewhat modest. When I saw a naked Katy Perry just having a pink cloud covering her put I felt a piece of me die inside. So many women present themselves half naked and what message is this sending to other women? What about the young girls who listen to these pop stars music? You need to dress sexually and skimpy to be noticed by men. You need to have sex with men for them to love you? I can't believe that and I won't. I believe you can be just as beautiful, sexy, and attractive dressed tastefully not to mention you look classier. So much more domestic violence and rapes are occurring today, because women oversexualize themselves. I pray that one day women will be modest once again and not feel as though they need to fit a certain criteria to be considered beautiful and be loved by men. Not all men need sex or a half naked woman to be happy. In fact, media often makes them feel as though they need to be that derogatory towards women.

I know a song should not explain how men should treat their women or what women should look for, but this song should be close to what you get out of a relationship (in my own beliefs). 
This song is beautiful and it's how I feel right now. I know that I am not perfect, nobody is. Our imperfections are what make us unique from one another. I could lose a bunch of weight and be the string bean the media tells me I should be. I could get my belly button pierced and show skin. I could even grow my bangs out and dye my hair, but that is NOT who I am. I am staying true to myself and if somebody truly loves you they should love you for who you are. I am a nerd and I am naive. I'm book smart and know very little about the streets despite living in "gangsta mafia" Chicago. I know my strengths and weaknesses and I'm okay with what I am capable and not so capable of. I believe that I am a beautiful person both inside and outside and as long as I am happy with and those I love are happy with who I am that is all that should matter.

People worry so much about what others think that they in fact let others define who they are. I remember seeing a quote that said we sacrifice 3/4 of ourselves to be like somebody else. We become so consumed with what others want us to be that we stray from who we actually want to be. You do not have to be perfect to be perfect for somebody else. Personality is what I believe should take you places and beauty will only get you attention. It won't get you love if your personality is hideous. I will not let the media or what is deemed to be beautiful change who I am. I am confident in who I am and I am happy with the person I have turned out to be thus far. 

I'm grateful to have a boyfriend who loves me for who I am. I've never had problems getting attention especially when I was thinner, but I don't think I've ever felt so loved in my entire life. Feeling loved is simply indescribable. I believe if everyone felt as loved as I did it would be hard to stay sad for very long. It's incredible to feel such a comfort level with someone and not feel as though you are just settling. I became convinced that I would never find anyone that my heart actually felt strongly for. I thought that movies were the only fix I'd ever get for witnessing true love. I was gravely mistaken and I suppose the whole saying "if you don't look for love you'll find it" has some truth to it. I wasn't looking for anything serious I just wanted to be alone and focus on myself. Now I have found something beautiful and worth every single heartache I had to suffer in the past. In fact, I never knew what heartache really was because if Johnny left me that would be true heartache. I feel like I can just be Lexy around him and I don't have to be afraid of him judging who I am. I don't feel afraid to express myself. I know people are afraid for me because I have been so hurt in the past, but I am putting my 100% into this relationship. You have to take a chance when it comes to love and you have to have faith. I believe that we all have a path we are on and that we just have to follow our hearts. Eventually we will go in the right direction, but sometimes we get lost.
Love as the song states at the beginning of the post takes work. It doesn't come easy and you have to be willing to put others you love before yourself. If you are always thinking about yourself you will never sustain any sort of relationship I don't care if its with family, friends, or in a relationship. I can honestly say I would sacrifice everything that I have for every person that I love in my life right now and that may be only a handful of people, but I truly love those people. We become so consumed in ourselves and what we have that we forget how important the people in our lives are. I would rather spend time with those I love then have a billion dollars. I would rather put my effort into the people I care about then party every night. My best memory was being with my boyfriend at the beach here in Chicago. We just did whatever we wanted, made goofy things in the sand, went swimming in the freezing lake, and enjoyed being with one another. We didn't have to be at some fancy restaurant or in some ritzy resort we were just happy being together and making memories on the beach. I know that people have concerns about my relationship being long distance, but I love him and he loves me. Love knows no distance and you can't put a price on having someone that loves you. I don't know many people who actually are grateful to have the people they do in their lives. It's a shame and when they have nobody at the end that's also disheartening. That is why I try to be there for everyone, because they shouldn't have to be alone no matter how they chose to live their lives. I am not the one to judge them in the end g-d is. I just don't want people to feel alone.


Love Always,
Alexis Zoe

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