Thursday, May 20, 2010

Grey's Anatomy.

So I will start with a disclaimer: I hardly ever watch Grey's Anatomy. I don't really appreciate television as much as some people do. That doesn't mean I entirely hate television I just find pleasures in other things besides the good ol' tube. Tonight I watched Grey's Anatomy with my mother and I am not extremely familiar with the series. I have seen a few episodes with her, but nothing can describe this episode. It really pulled at my heartstrings and I think it is because I have way too much compassion for people. I don't want to give away what happened for those of you who may be fans and were unable to see tonight's episode, but all I have to say is it is a much watched episode. Doesn't matter if you are familiar with the series or not. It really taught and put into perspective the value of human life. The episode opened my eyes to love and made me have a deeper understanding of the concept.

There's the academic in me again. Concept, it isn't a concept it is a deep emotion that I believe exists exclusively between two people. You can love several people, but there are always those who you love so much you would sacrifice everything for them, even your own life. I am so deeply in love right now, something I've never felt before. It's an emotion I honestly doubted and thought I'd never experience and feel it back. I would do anything for my boyfriend and I'm not afraid to say it anymore. The love exists now and I may get hurt in the end, but it will have been worth everything and anything. Why? Because you fight for those you love and you work to do everything right. I know that I am not the easiest to deal with at times and I can't express how appreciative I am for all that he deals with in our relationship. Often I get weird and I have nobody but myself to blame for that. I know that the past has a big impact on who I am, but I understand now that I can't let it control my future. We should live each day as if it is fresh and new. Brush off those mistakes and tell them they aren't welcome back into our lives. Tell ourselves that we recognize these events did exist, but that they do not define our futures. They do not provide a looking glass into the future because each day will be different from the next. I can get emotional and am sometimes unsure or afraid, but I know I don't need to be afraid anymore.

Love is indescribable. I am blessed to have the love that I do, and be able to look at the person and fall even more madly in love. I think that G-d has a way of letting you know who is meant to be your destiny. I really believe in soul mates and believe that love never can die. My mom may be ill, the people in my life that I love will die. I've seen many people that I love pass away, but I feel them with me. They live on in me and their love will never be forgotten. That is what keeps them alive. It does hurt and that is why it is so important to cherish each moment and memory you have with that person. Life isn't perfect, it isn't meant to be. You will have disagreements and issues especially with those you are extremely close to. What is important is that you let them know that they are never taken for granted and that you feel wonderful to have the love of such an amazing individual. Those who love you are there to help you in your weakest moments, they will not judge you for mistakes you may make. They will uplift your spirit and remind you of your purpose. Remind you that you can fight through it and that they will never leave you.

Nobody wants to be alone ever. I used to believe that death is most feared and depressing because that individual has to experience that one thing alone. I don't know if I believe that now. If you are surrounded by love I believe you never have to experience anything alone. That's the beauty of it and that is why it so desired. It may be nice to get a lot of attention and be loved by many, but how genuine is that love? There are only a select few who are going to love you at your worst and accept mistakes that you make. Those are the people you have to hold on. Sometimes it's hard to determine whether someone is that person, but from my experience you just feel it inside. I don't think that you can deny a feeling given to you that is that deep. If you love someone you will find a way no matter what and that is what I'm doing for every person I love in life. I will find a way to show everyone I love that I will always be there and always love them. Cherish your loved ones and never take them for granted. I am the luckiest girl for having such an amazing family and an even more amazing boyfriend.


"People who belong together, stay together, despite major setbacks
and disagreements. They may deal in fault and blame temporarily, but
ultimately they work things out. love conquers all."

Always and Forever,
Alexis Zoe

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