When Everything is Positive....

One can never become disappointed! It's incredible how if you convince yourself that things are happy and fun that they do in fact become happy and fun! I will admit that at times I became stressed at my job and felt as though nobody in the office really cared for me. Not because I'm a terrible person to be around, but because I was the "new" person who they assumed had no clue what I was doing. Today my boss I believe really liked my initial proposal for a website and I have worked hard in becoming fluent in dreamweaver. Currently, I'm educating myself on site maps in order to maybe have a pictured drop down menu. We shall see what my boss decides is best for our departments new site. I really enjoy being in the office setting and having my own little desk. I have printed more pictures at Walgreens (yes, I have become somewhat obsessed with Walgreens photo desk) and I am decorating my office space even more. I may even invest in some cheap frames from Target. Still deciding on a color scheme for my area. I already have purple post its and purple notepads so I'm thinking purple. Purple is pretty for the summer and spring too! Purple is my favorite color so I guess that means it's good all year round for me!

In other news, I am still on the prowl to find a second job. I'm only working 10 hours at the office and if my boss will let me I may be able to work 15-20, which will help financially. I won't get three tuition wavers, but I'll still get my two and a larger stipend. I'm assuming my boss may just let me since we will most likely be getting a new graduate assistant to take my place when I am gone. Plus we sort of had a heart to heart today that I enjoyed! I really like when my boss comes to talk to me about his life it makes me see him in a different way. If that doesn't work out I'm going to still attempt to find a job desperately. I was considering going to my old bank manager and seeing if he'll let me come back as a part time teller. That was probably one of my favorite jobs I've had thus far. The people were great to work with and all the customers were so fun! I really enjoy dressing up for a job too. If worse comes to worse I will resort to retail. I'm almost tempted to just work at McDonalds for a while (this is how desperate I am), but everyone believes it to be below me so I guess I won't go down that road.

I'm starting to become so much more of a positive person and I really am motivated to do many great things. I think life is meant to be lived and yes we will have disappointments. We are human and sometimes things are thrown at us that seem unfair and intolerable, but just remember if you let them get to you then those things are winning. They are controlling your life and once you lose control you just settle. In life you should never ever settle that is one thing I have learned. You only live on Earth once, we are unsure of what the heavenly father has in store for us after, but I'm sure it is something beautiful. This life is a test for us and he is watching us and reassures us from time to time that something greater is in store. I want to live this life right and do what I feel is right. I don't want to stand on the sideline and watch the game I want to be in the game. I want to be the star player and I will be. Practice makes perfect and the more I practice and the more I succeed the more perfected my life will become.

Other than that life is really wonderful. My mother is still strong as ever and fighting as hard as ever making me prouder and prouder each day (though she doesn't realize how proud I am). My dad is working a lot! Sometimes I wish he wouldn't work so hard, but I know he needs the money. Brother is also the same he is just chillin per usual. On Fathers day my Grandpa was so adorable! He swam so much and enjoyed himself. He was like a fishy gliding all around a tiny ocean (if oceans were tiny that is). Finally, my boyfriend is as amazing as ever even though he hasn't been as chipper as he usually is. He works really hard and does everything he can for his dream and that makes me fall more and more in love with him. I really think it's important to follow your dreams, because if you want them bad enough you will obtain them. He doesn't know it, but he inspires me everyday to be a better person and to continue pressing on with what I want to do in my life. He's my captain :] and makes me happy everyday. It's so weird being away from someone you love. Normally I can't tolerate boyfriends, because they always seem to do something to annoy/upset me, but Johnny is different. Johnny has changed my life for the better and he is my best friend. I couldn't ask for a better one and I can't wait until I just get to hold him and kiss him again. He may not physically be here all the time, but I don't need that right now. I know he loves me even when he is not here and when I do get to see him it makes the time spent with him that much more special and beautiful. Love is such a beautiful feeling!

Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!

Sincerely,
Alexis Zoe