All at once I had it all, but it doesn't mean anything now that your gone.

I've always had this idea in my head how I wanted to live my life. Really my idea of how life should be lived is quite simple. It comprises essentially of being surrounded by positive, loving individuals who are willing to put in as much effort for you as you are for them. I remember the disappointment my father had when we found we weren't doing well financially. It broke my heart to watch him struggling to provide for his family, but what he did not realize was that I admired him. I admired him for all of this hard work he had struggled through his entire life for his children and his family. It made me want to work as hard as I can for my future family someday. He taught me the very fundamental meaning of what it means to work hard and I am prepared to do just that.

Money seems to have people handcuffed in this country. Don't get me wrong I am a proud American and support my country, but it is sad to see people struggling because they want to live lavish lifestyles that a capitalist society tells them they must lead. Why can't people be happy with the little, precious things in life? Like spending time doing things with their family? After a while I donate my old things to charity they are dispensable items. Memories are indispensable. You can never erase those and they are cherish-able possessions, much more than some purse or lipgloss (those were the only two items to pop into my mind at the moment). It makes me sad to see my dad working so hard and always worrying about money so that is why I am buying him a fishing license and am determined to get him to come out a couple times a month this summer. We both enjoy fishing so much and it's really nice bonding time with him. Everybody needs to escape the everyday stressers every once in a while.Nothing comes close to that other than being out in mother nature and enjoying how fantastic our Earth is.

Being outside calms me and amazes me. I do live in a big city, but that doesn't mean I can't escape from it. When I do I feel like I'm at peace and really when I'm in nature I pray the best. It just feels like I am alone with g-d out in a forest or somewhere magnificent. It is a little reminder that he is up there watching and that he really did something magnificent for us. It gives me hope that morality can still remain in this world. It pains me to see how immoral and unjust people have become. People just give away what is precious to them without any questions asked. It's as though morality has become forgotten. That loyalty and time with family is completely annihilated. Sometimes I feel so alone when it comes to what I believe is right, but I know there are others out there like me, who see how silly it is to get wasted, do drugs, and just give themselves to people.  If you can't be happy or have a good time without altering your mind then are you really happy with your life? You have to sit back and really think about that.

I'm extremely pleased with my life, despite my desire for another job. I am in need of funds and am determined. I know that in time I will find a way to make more to help my family out and whoever else may need me. Life is about living the way you see fit. People may think my academic endevours are silly, but they are meaningful to me and I don't care what others think of them. I traveled to Arizona to see my boyfriend, and you may think my long distance relationship is pointless and silly, but I feel it is right. I know in my heart he is a tremendous guy and why would I give up on that becuase of a little distance? G-d's intentions for us and our lives are not always simple. If everything was handed to us then we would not appreciate what we have so much. Anything that requires some sort of struggle is worth it in the end, and when you do finally conquer that struggle it will be that much more appreciated.

Love you all =]!
-Alexis Zoe