Of the feelings never told. It has been a while since I last blogged, and there are many reasons behind that. Lately I have been experiencing a slew of emotions that I can't quite comprehend. At one point in my life I was filled with a burst of happiness. A happiness that glowed so brightly the entire world could see it shining through. Overall, I believe that for those two years I was the best person I had ever been. I was finally being healthy, taking care of myself, and of course stimulating myself mentally. There was a pact that I had with myself to do all of the things that I loved and cherished the most. This included taking long bicycle rides on good ol' Shamrock, going out and exploring, and dreaming everything in vintage. I absolutely adored looking and dressing adorable everyday. I feel as though I need to sell or donate most of what I have and just start over. Just allocate a certain amount of my funds and spend a lexy day. A day to just revive the once glowing happy girl that I knew.
I believe that we all craft our lives the way in which we see fit. We can find beauty and choose to do what we adore. My biggest problem is I am constantly attempting to please others, that I forget what makes me the happiest. This causes my heart grief and I have realized I need to begin to stop being selfless and be selfish at times. I miss getting coffee and sitting all day reading articles and dabbling in knowledge. These days I feel exhausted for a reason, I am going through many emotions most of which continue to drag down my fragile little heart.
This summer I believe that I need to make a list of all I would like to accomplish. One of the main things I hope to achieve is getting ahead of the game rather than falling behind. It is so easy in life to allow yourself to fall behind and then later blame the work or struggles with completing tasks on the tasks themselves. When we do this we are actually avoiding doing the work and making it even more challenging to get ahead. I intend on going back to enjoying my work and embracing that sense of accomplishment that I have from working hard. I also want to explore and discover more of Nebraska. Maybe even take a weekend trip with my wonderful boyfriend to Colorado and just enjoy being alive. Sometimes it takes little trips or little things to be reminded how beautiful the world truly is.
A final thing that has slipped in the present is my writing. I can see the slow decline in my writing abilities as I continue to put off writing for my enjoyment and updating my blogs frequently. This is again much like putting off work, I have allowed the things I once enjoyed so to become chores. It seems as though everything has become a chore to me these days and it has pushed me over the edge. My mother would not want me to live my life this way and I do no intend to fall back into the state I once was in, when I was in high school. I am making a newfound pact from here on out that I must continue to progress in my life and search for that happiness I once achieved. Life is a learning process and we aren't always going to be comfortable or happy with our lives. What is important is to remember the times you were at your best and work to get back there. Do things that are enjoyable because life is short.
<3 Alexis Zoe
No comments:
Post a Comment